"Mad Hatters" Were Hat Makers With Mercury Poisoning

Mad Hatters were truly "mad" -- as the result of erethism, a form of mercury poisoning.

English hat-makers used to use mercury during the process of felting a hat's wool. Sufferers of erethism -- or, erethism mercurialis -- suffered such symptoms as shyness and social phobia. In a sense, they went "mad."

However, Alice In Wonderland author Lewis Carroll did not base the character The Mad Hatter on a person suffering from the ailment. Instead, it is believed Carroll's inspiration for the Hatter was Theophilus Carter, an eccentric furniture dealer and inventor.

Source: Wikipedia

Koko The Gorilla's Sexual Harassment Suits

Koko the sign-language communicating gorilla has been the subject of several claims of sexual harassment -- all focusing on the ape's apparent "nipple fetish."

Three women claimed that they were pressured by Koko's handler, Francene Patterson, to lift their shirts and expose their nipples to the gorilla. They claimed they were in danger of losing their jobs if they did not comply with what Patterson claimed was Koko's signal to expose their nipples.

All sexual harassment claims against Koko were dropped in 2005. Patterson claims that Koko merely uses the word "nipple" to refer to humans because it sounds like that for "people."

Source

"Pornographic" Men's Underwear Pulled From Walmart After Pastor Complaint

Men's underwear with what a pastor called "pornographic" pictures on the packaging got pulled from a Cullman, Alabama Walmart.

Frank Boren, pastor of New Hope Christian Center Church of God, explained:

"I was in there shopping for some underwear one day, and looked at the men’s pictures on the packaging. On a few of the packages they were very pornographic in the way they were dressed, in skimpy underwear, so I went to the manager and asked her if she thought it was inappropriate to be displayed."

Walmart did not remove the offending underwear, so Boren started to file several more complaints over the next few weeks with the Walmart home office. He also for some reason got a sheriff involved. Finally, the underwear was recalled.

And America is safe once again.

Via The Cullman Times

BulletGirl: Fine Jewelry Made Out Of Bullets

Forget Tiffany's -- you need to get your sweetheart a nice .223 REM bullet pendant or "357" MAG bullet bracelet at BulletGirl.

BulletGirl promises that the women who wear their unique jewelry will feel empowered by the experience:

"It's the right ammunition for women who choose to fight back for the right reasons."

The jewelry is made out of bullets plated in 24K gold and rhodium, and can run anywhere from $16o for a ring to as much as $1500 for a pendant with a diamond peace sign on it. They also come with special travel instructions, presumably so as not to cause an upset in the airport with all your ammo bling.

Video: Cosmic Sumo Wrestling

"This video was not edited in any way. This is how real sumo is. Every other sumo video you've ever seen has been edited to protect the secret of just how powerful sumo really are."

Scottish Map Used In UK Film Censorship Test

If the phallus in your movie was aroused in an angle beyond that of Scotland's Mull of Kintyre -- you were out of luck with the UK film censors!

The Mull of Kintyre Test was said to be used by the British Board of Film Classification to determine whether a penis was erect enough on film as to be censored. A map of Scotland shows a very phallic Mull of Kintyre. If the member in question was higher than the land mass in that map, it was unacceptable.

The Mull Of Kintyre

The BBFC adopted this rather unique form of film classification in 1992, according to Professor John Hoyles of the University of Hull: "the male performer's penis must never appear more than slightly tumescent."

By 2002, the BBFC abandoned such "tumescent penis" rules.

Source: Wikipedia

LiveBlog: "The Colony" Season Premiere

I am live-blogging the season premiere of The Discovery Channel's reality TV series "The Colony." The premise: a number of participants will live out a "test-run" on an apocalyptic super-flu disaster. All played out in the ruins of Hurricane Katrina. They receive no cash prize, and have signed a contract stating that they understand really upsetting shiat is going to happen to them.

The show really stresses through "experts" that this situation totally could happen, and that the government is actually preparing for exactly these scenarios.

Robert: this dude is 70

Now our heroes are walking through the actual ruins of Katrina, wearing yellow plastic suits, after spending 72 hours each alone in quarantine.

"This is basically as close to burnt-out hell as it can be."

I really get the sense at the beginning of this show that the participants are almost enjoying this -- that whole "forgaging after the apocalypse" scenario. I'm hoping that soon changes.

Dude, that guy is 70?!!!11!

They find a wedding dress in the ruins...and tear it up to use for survival!

This is like "The Real World" of Doomsday. They've VH1'd the Apocalypse.

They're eating MREs -- "Meal Ready To Eat." With their bedding & rations, they still seem a little too comfortable.

Becka The Model: because every post-apocalypse needs a model

Then scary drifter mutants approach the colony! Do they carry the "Nuclear Flu?" The medical masks and bandannas come on. They ask for food & water -- will the Colony give it to them?
They are obviously tattooed drifter infected freaks!

They give over a jug of boiled water and powdered milk. But they want MORE!

Is a post-apocalyptic beat-down going to happen?

Yes! They beat back the Strangers. But every person who touched them has to be in 20 hours Quarantine.

Then it rains. They get gallons of free ready-to-drink drinking water...but their house and supplies are potentially compromised. Then -- they find a snake!

"The colonists are not familiar with local wildlife, and react with aggression."

Alert PETA -- they just killed the snake!

Uh-oh...our first inter-colony tension. Hipster Guy is sitting back while Construction Guy chops wood.

ROTTING PIGS IN THE TRUCK!!!!11!!1

Jim: "We could use the rotting pigs for bait."

Jim the Crazy Carpenter offers to carry the fetid rotting pigs in order to keep them for fishing bait...but is overcome by the stench.

"THEY'RE MAGGOTS EVERYWHERE!!!!"

"The pigs are nasty, but this nice salami is wrapped. I suggest we take the salami."

My vote for Colonist most like to go bat-shiat insane: Jim.

Hipster Guy "just has to sleep."

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" says Hipster Guy as he carries his bedding to get away from the rabble he's forced to spend the post-apocalypse with.

Now they start bitching about Hipster Guy while he snoozes. They accuse him of "not taking things seriously."

OH SHIAT THERE'S LIKE 2 MILLION CRAZY TATTOOED INFECTED THUGS ENTERING THE COMPOUND!!!!!111!!1

It's just like Night of the Living Dead!

"Armed with smoke bombs and pepper spray, they will use force if necessary."

The colonists are blinded with the pepper spray! The colonists are easily overcome. Chaos! People hitting each other with pipes!

This is reality TV, folks!

"He just hit me in the head!"

George: "Surrounded by idiots"

This dude is just hitting Hipster Guy with one of those big Tupperware containers.

"We definitely had our asses handed to us."

Now they are pouring milk into people's eyes to counteract the pepper spray.

"I know everyone's eyes hurt but please don't use all of it (the milk) on the eyes please!"

"This is not a picnic. This is not a barbecue session. This is a survival session."

Beatles Impersonators Sue Beatles Impersonators

Will the real Fake Fab Four stand forward?

Nevada-based Beatles impersonators The Fab Four are suing Colorado's Beatles tribute band The Fab 4 because the latter is "essentially identical in sound and appearance" to the former. Of course, both of them are essentially identical in sound and appearance to these guys:

But more specifically, The Fab Four worry about a confusion in branding. They hope the suit will force The Fab 4 and any other similarly-named group to be unable to use any trademark that sounds like "The Fab Four."

No word yet on...

Via Las Vegas Sun

"Meteorite" Lands During Cricket Match

Two spectators during a cricket game watched something fall out of the sky, land at their feet, and brake in two. The object was a five-inch black rock, and potentially a 4.5 billion years old meterorite. Witness Richard Haynes commented,

"We were quietly supping our pints, both looked up at the same time and saw a black object coming towards us – we didn't know what it was."

Fellow onlooker Jan Marszel added:

"It landed five yards inside the boundary and split into two pieces. One piece bounced up and hit me in the chest and the other ended up against the boundary board. It came across at quite a speed – if it had hit me full on it could have been very interesting."

The duo have kept the potentially cosmic rock as a souvenir, but would be happy to have experts check it out. If it is really a meteorite, it will be the first to land in the UK since 1992.

Via The Age

The Cheeky Cadavers Of 17th Century Anatomical Drawings

The "cadavers" in this collection of mostly 17th Century anatomical drawings are no somber, dead-eyed folk. Instead, they proudly -- almost flirtatously -- present their innards to the viewer for inspection. From the intro to the Dream Anatomy site's "Show-Off Cadavers" section:

"In the works of Giulio Casserio, John Browne and Pietro da Cortona, the illustrated anatomy book is a stage featuring posing, prancing cadavers. Animated with an exuberant vitality, the corpses perform an anatomical show for the reader’s gaze."

More illustrations at the link

"The Lying Nun"

First, the award for best newspaper headline for 2010 goes to The New York Post:

"Lying Nun Begs On Behalf Of Unholy Rape Clan"

A "nun" who has collected money in New York's Little Italy for "orphanages and the homeless" for over a decade is not who she says to be:

"She got off at Avenue J/Kings Highway, where, cigarette dangling from her lips, shedisrobed on the street. She pulled off her white coif, black veil and tunic-like habit to reveal a pink tank top. She put on brown shorts under her black skirt, which she peeled off, folded and stuffed into a plastic bag. After buying a sandwich, canned pasta and a bottle of water, she took a bus to Linden Boulevard in East New York, lit another cigarette and rang the bell at 714 Jerome St., a rundown brick house with garbage strewn across its front yard. A hulking man emerged, gave her a bear hug and whacked her lustily on the behind."

The so-called "Sister Milindia" is really Mindy LeGrand, connected to a "church" founded by "a killer rapist" in the 1970s that maintained a "harem" of fake nuns.

The complete story in the NY Post includes an extensive photo section of the Lying Nun undressing in the middle of the street and smoking a cig.

Batman Comic About The "Paul Is Dead" Rumor

Batman knew the real truth behind the "Paul Is Dead" rumor -- and it's a shocker!

Batman #222, published in 1970, featured a very Beatles-looking band called "The Oliver Twists." Robin investigates the rumor that band member Saul Cartwright (Paul McCartney?) had died in a freak motorcycle accident and was replaced by a double. Luckily, Batman/Bruce Wayne is the major stockholder in The Oliver Twists' music label Eden Records (or, Apple Corps), and the two have access to the band.

What is the true shocking secret of the story "Dead...Till Proven Alive?" Saul is Saul -- it's the rest of the band members who are fakes, the originals having died in a tragic plane crash.

Featuring a cover that looks like that of Abbey Road but from a different angle, Batman #222 just proves how utterly pervasive the rumor of Paul McCartney's death and "replacement" was in pop-culture, just a scant year after it started.

Source: Oddball Comics

Pet Store's "Bring In Your Rottweiler" Event Ends In Tears

A West Auckland, NZ pet store's "Bring In Your Rottweiler" promotion ended in tragedy as a woman got her face ripped open by one of the dogs.

The unidentified victim had bent down to offer food to the rottweiler when the animal suddenly bit her face. It was an attack that produced, according to one witness, "horrific" injuries, possibly ripping her upper lip completely off.

But neither the victim nor the dog's owner want to have the dog destroyed; and it is hoped that by neutering the male canine, his disposition will mellow out considerably.

Meanwhile, the pet store is currently reviewing its safety procedures for such events.

Via 3 News

Access Code To The U.S. Nukes For Over A Decade Was...

OOOOOOOO

Yes, for the period of time between 1968 and 1976, the only thing standing between nuclear annihilation was eight zeroes.

Cue:

Source: Harper's Index

Village of Shitterton Keeps Getting Their Sign Stolen

Citizens of the English hamlet of Shitterton are fed up with puerile pranksters stealing their sign.

Says Shitterton resident Ian Ventham:

"Every two or three years somebody comes along and nicks our sign because, clearly, Shitterton is amusing."

So now the village council is striking back with a ton-and-a-half stone engraved sign that, they hope, will be too heavy for jokey-jokesters to haul away.

Shitterton was referred to in ancient Norman French as Scatera, which means "a little town in the stream of a sewer."

Via: BBC News

"You Can Get Chicks Too!" Claims "Brother Inspiration"

The overweight webmaster of the mostly-photo site "Brother Inspiration" assures readers:

"Hi Everyone,

I am 励志哥 [li zhi ge, "Brother Inspiration" or "Brother Encouragement"], and if you are still complaining that you have bad luck and can’t find a good girl, take a look at me. If you are still complaining that God is not fair to you, take a moment to take a

look at me. Let Brother come show you what is love.

Overwhelmed? Envious? Then emulate Brother, remember Brother, Brother is not a legend, Brother is called Brother Inspiration."

What follows is a series of photos of the rather charismatic Brother Inspiration posing with his girlfriend, by himself, with a camo-clad posse holding a machine-gun, and other scenarios. All SFW, as far as I can tell, except for a couple where you see a little bit of his butt crack.

Second Henge Found At Stonehenge

Just call it "Timberhenge."

Archaeologists are excited to have unearthed a second henge -- or, circular monument -- at Stonehenge. The henge is believed to have been constructed with wooden posts, though only the pits that were dug to hold them remain today.

The historic find was made about 900m (2,950 ft) from the monument, is about a meter/3 feet wide, and is believed to date back to Stonehenge's heyday.

Though believed by traditional researchers to be a cemetery, Stonehenge is also considered to have been built upon a geographic location containing high energy and the site of many secret rituals. If the area truly is energized/sacred/etc., it might make sense there was more than one ceremonial henge built in the general area.

More info on Stonehenge, from an expert:

Philip K. Dick's Neo-Nazi Syphilis Letters To The FBI

If I felt that a shadowy Neo-Nazi organization was pressuring me to include code words in my best-selling science fiction novels in order to trigger an incurable new wave of syphilis, I'd write to the FBI for help. Which is what Philip K. Dick, author of such classics as "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" and "A Scanner Darkly" did in 1972, at least twice. Letters of Note runs two of his typed letters to the FBI, with transcripts. Some highlights:

"Beyond any doubt, Kinchen is an ardent Nazi trained in such skill as weapons-use,explosives, wire-tapping, chemistry, psychology, toxins and poisons, electronics, auto repair, sabotage, the manufacture of narcotics. Mr. Bader is of course aware of this.

What I did not pass on to anyone, because I feared for my life, is the fact that Kinchen put coercive pressure, both physical and psychological, on me to put secret coded information into my future published writings, "to be read by the right people here and there," as he put it, meaning members of his subversive organization. As I told you in November, he accidently responded to a phonecall from me with a codesignal. Later, he admitted belonging to a secret "worldwide" organization and told me some details."

By "secret worldwide organization" could Dick be referring to...THE ILLUMINATI?!!1!1!!?

Onto the syphilis plot:

"The coded information which Kinchen wished placed in my novels (I of course refused, and fled to Canada) had to do with an alleged new strain of syphilis sweeping the U.S., kept topsecret by the U.S. authorities; it can't be cured, destroys the brain, and is swift-acting. The disease, Kinchen claimed, is being brought in deliberately from Asia by agents of the enemy (unspecified), and is in fact a weapon of World War Three, which has begun, being used against us."

Dick also believed he was in touch with an alien intelligence called VALIS -- Vast Active Living Intelligence System -- which he claimed helped him accurately diagnose a life-threatening medical condition in his son.

Spiderboat, Spiderboat...

U.S. authorities in Guam turned away a spider-invested cargo boat that was last docked in South Korea. Just how many spiders are we talking about, here?

"The Guam Department of Agriculture said hundreds of large spiders and thousands of smaller ones were seen when stevedores began offloading insulation and beams for housing units from the ship, the M.V. Altavia."

Hundreds of the large ones are enough for me, thank you.

Officials don't know exactly what types of spiders they are, but that they are definitely not the variety regularly found in Guam:

"It's not on Guam, we don't want it here."

They also found this dude in the cargo hold:

Elvis's Autopsy Tools Up For Auction

In what might be considered one of the more morbid celebrity auctions, a number of tools used in the autopsy and embalming of Elvis Presley will go up for sale at Chicago's Leslie Hindman Auctioneers.

The items, which are all listed as having been used only once, include:

• "John Doe" toe tag
• rubber gloves
• makeup
• needles, tubes, and hooks
• various paperwork

The gruesome collection was saved by a senior embalmer at the Memphis Funeral Home for over thirty years.

Mary Williams, a spokesperson for Leslie Hindman Auctioneers, commented on the unusual sale:

"It's really about owning a piece of the celebrity themselves ... and how much closer can you get than the actual embalming instruments?"

Via MSNBC

Parachuting Donkey Used In Russian Advertising Stunt Gone Awry

A donkey was apparently attached to a parachute and thrown from a plane as part of an advertising stunt in the southern Russia. Onlookers snapped pictures and babies cried as they watched the poor equine creature flail in the air and land in the Sea of Azov.

The stunt was an attempt to attract tourists to the beach area.

"The donkey landed in an atrocious manner: it was dragged several metres along the water, after which the animal was pulled out half-alive onto the shore."

Police are investigating the incident, and those responsible may face criminal charges for animal cruelty.

"There was clearly no thought for this animal's welfare before they strapped it into a parachute, sending it catapulting into the sky."

The marketing team behind the stunt is obviously the same one that pulled off this infamous promotion for a radio station:

Via BBC News

Exorcist Blames Possessions On Wicca, Ouija Boards, Stephanie Meyer

Wicca, Ouija Boards, Harry Potter, and Twilight are all gateway drugs to demonic possession, says Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer, the author of the new book "Exorcism and the Church Militant."

"Harry Potter and these Twilight vampires glamorize the power of evil, and this has lead to many, many cases of possession among young people."

a poor confused girl who read too much Stephanie Meyer

Rev. Euteneuer claims to have seven years of experience "ministering to those possessed by demons," and describes Jesus Christ as "Chief Exorcist." In this passage from his book, he describes the difficulty of dealing with the minions of the "Prince of Lies" --

"Once, in an exorcism, a demon used the person's actual voice to attempt to throw me off the track. The person said to me in her natural voice, "I think he's gone, Father. No, I am sure he is gone, I feel so much better." I suspected that it was the demon speaking, so I commanded the person to recite the Hail Mary, and when the person refused, I knew whose the voice was."

picture of demon-possessed woman

with an ugly crooked nose

Rev. Euteneuer is not an official exorcist for any Catholic diocese, but practices his demon-banishing part-time. He is also author of the book "Demonic Abortions," and is available for speaking engagements.

Via Catholic.org

The iPhone 4 Saga, As Told By Taiwanese Animation

I really wish we had this sort of news coverage in the United States. A Taiwanese news program "re-enacts" the iPhone 4 saga using 3-D animation that includes lightsabers, gore, and mystical force-fields.